Words are powerful!

Today we read "Words Are Not for Hurting", written by Elizabeth Verdick. Elizabeth says it so nicely..." Children are known for whatever comes to mind. Their words-so often funny,surprising, and insightful- are a window into their feelings.

There are times when we hear children saying something mean or hurtful. They might tease another child, for example, or make unkind comments about someone's appearance. They might shout, or even swear. What's behind these words? Other feelings of anger, sadness, rejection, confusion, or fear. Just like adults, children may lash out with a raised voice or hurtful words.
All of us- young and old alike-can learn to use words that convey kindness and respect."

Working and playing well with others and using words that are friendly and kind require more than just children "being nice". These are social skills that young children need help developing.

Sasha and I spend a lot of time helping and supporting the children when resolving conflict. We help the children begin to brainstorm possible solutions to problems. For example, today Charlotte wanted to be the "mom" and Samantha was the "mom" first. Charlotte was clearly upset because she never gets to be the mom! I said, to the girls" There seems to be a problem, can I help you problem solve?". I asked the children," What can we do when two kids both want to be the mom?". I asked the girls "Can there be two moms?". They both thought that was a good idea , and the problem was solved. Last week Zach and Elias wanted the same chair. I asked them, " How can two boys share one chair." Elias moved over and offered Zach half of the chair to sit on. Zach smiled and sat down next to Elias , and then the boys continued to build with the magnitiles... Problem solved!

As teachers and parents we need to be accepting of children coming up to us for help with their own conflicts. They need support, and guidance as how to resolve conflict , whether it's when they feel like their being ignored ,when another person is not using friendly words, or when others are not sharing materials/space. Inviting children to come to you for help when resolving their conflicts with other children if they aren't able to do it themselves, is so important and key to setting the children up for success!

Next time you are at the library pick up one of Elizabeth Verdick books... The age appropriate vocabulary and delightful illustrations teach a variety of social skills!