Friendship Skills!

While children might want to work and play with their peers, many of them lack basic friendship skills. Friendship skills are not inborn. The desire to have a friend and be a friend may be inborn, but the skills needed to execute the desire are learned. When children don't know how to take turns, share space and things, or enter or exit play, the result is often chaos.

Children who learn how to share and take turns, who begin to internalize that others have feelings and needs, move more smoothly through their daily lives than children who haven't yet learned these skills. Our job is to help the children by integrating a host of strategies into the daily program that model, coach, and teach culturally appropriate and effective social skills, norms, and customs.

Today at circle time we talked to the children about how we all have "friendly behavior" in our classroom. When we reinforce friendly behavior rather than artificial friendships, children develop skills that will serve them for life. Think about it, so many times we are required to interact with people who we would not choose as friends-maybe on a committee, or as a member of the school council, or at work. Whether we are friends or not we are still expected to maintain a civil and friendly behaviors toward each other.

We discussed with the children that just because we are all members of the Tel Aviv classroom doesn't mean we are all friends. Friendship is something worth working for. If you want to be someones friend acting in a "friendly manner" is a great start. Making friends requires social skills that navigate relationships.

During free play we introduced the children to a "My Turn, Your Turn" game.
Here is how you play:

1.Take a stack of blocks and sit at a table.
2.Invite one child at a time to play with you.
3.Build a tower of blocks by taking turns adding a block to the structure.
4.As you take turns, chant "My turn, your turn," and encourage the children to join the chant. Let the other children observe the play. They will learn by watching, and you will save time teaching the skills to others.

As children become skilled at taking turns in the game, allow two children to do the activity together while you observe and continue to coach the "My Turn, Your Turn" chant. Eventually, children will be able to take turns without direct adult guidance. If problems develop remind children that it is a "My Turn, Your Turn activity.

We will continue to model and teach the language and behaviors of friendship, and make plans to scaffold the children one level to the next by using supportive interactions, an inclusive classroom culture, and special games/activities!